Not long ago, although before I had my baby, we had a substitute at our school who I wish I could have put in her place.<\/p>\n
I work in a school that is nearly all women.\u00a0 We have had nearly every female medical problem you can name.\u00a0 At one point we had 4 women of childbearing years wishing to be pregnant.\u00a0 Three had about a dozen miscarriages and 3 babies between them.\u00a0 And 1 (um…me) couldn’t do the thing you have to do in order to get pregnant.\u00a0 It had been a very traumatic few years for my three friends and a stressful time for me as well.\u00a0 Our coworkers knew some of what was going on, although not a lot of details about my condition.\u00a0 People were very sensitive to what was going on.<\/p>\n
One day we had a substitute who had never been to our school before.\u00a0 She didn’t know anyone at the school.\u00a0 She was eating lunch at the same time as 2 of the women who had had multiple (3-5 each) miscarriages in the past couple years.\u00a0 Both yearned to have children and had serious complications several times.\u00a0 She looks at the younger of the two, sitting next to her, and says, “Do you have any kids?”\u00a0 And when the answer was negative the substitute starts lecturing her about how she shouldn’t wait to have kids and how great they are.\u00a0 Both of my friends just sat there not knowing what to say but getting more and more upset by the minute.\u00a0 I wish I had been there, because I would have said,<\/p>\n
I am so happy for you that you have had such a perfect healthy life.\u00a0 You must be so blessed.\u00a0 Although you have clearly missed a few lessons in manners over the years.<\/p>\n
Do you know what it is like to be unable to be intimate with your husband?\u00a0 Have you heard of vulvodynia?\u00a0 Have you ever had stabbing excruciating pain when touched in your most sensitive of area?\u00a0 I have been on several antidepressants – each with their own really fun side effects, been through physical therapy and biofeedback – $3000 out of my own pocket, shots in my “down there”, therapy, breakdowns, and extreme pain.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And yet after 6 years of marriage (and 8 years since diagnosis) I am still struggling every day.<\/p>\n
What a blessing it must have been for you to get, and stay, pregnant so easily.\u00a0 Do you know that up to 40% of conceptions end in miscarriage?\u00a0 However, after one miscarriage your chances of having another are only 25%.\u00a0 On the other hand, 1% of women have what they call recurrent miscarriages which is 3 or more in a row.\u00a0 Do you know how many women in this room have suffered miscarriages?\u00a0 No, you don’t, because you just shot your mouth off without considering that you don’t know anyone here.\u00a0 1% in the world is actually 10% here at our school.\u00a0 So the next time you decide to lecture someone about their life choices maybe you should consider not everything in life is a choice.<\/p>\n
The upside is two of us have each had a boy, one had 2 girls, and one adopted a preschooler from Haiti.\u00a0 And as far as I know, that sub never came back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Not long ago, although before I had my baby, we had a substitute at our school who I wish I could have put in her place. I work in a school that is nearly all women.\u00a0 We have had nearly every female medical problem you can name.\u00a0 At one point we had 4 women of Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49,8],"tags":[69],"class_list":["post-859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-complaint-department","category-whatithink","tag-job"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=859"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":865,"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions\/865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/strathconn.com\/lady\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}