I am going to a funeral today.

No one likes going to funerals. No one enjoys them. No one looks forward to them. You are saying goodbye to someone you knew. Cared about. Loved.

I am going to a funeral of a child today.

I didn’t actually know Brady. His mom is the younger sister of a friend of mine from high school. My sister is friendly with Brady’s mom.

Brady was 3 and a half. His death was an accident. A sad, horrible accident.

He leaves an older brother and a brother to be born next month; his mom and dad; several aunts and uncles and cousins; grandparents on both sides and even great-grandparents. He was cute and lively and a little bit devilish.

I am going to a funeral today.

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

    -- W.H. Auden

It’s nice to know there’s someone who caresWhen you feel all alone and suddenly scaredYour mom and dad will make it OKWhen they give you a hug, the fear goes away.Chorus:It’s OK (It’s OK)It’s really all rightIt’s all right. (It’s all right)It’s really OKYou’re as safe in the night as you are in the dayIt’s all right (It’s all right)It’s really OK.You can squeeze your pillow, squeeze it real tight.You can crawl out of bed and turn on the lightYou know it’s not so bad to be alone in the nightIt’s OK. It’s really all right.Chorus

In the late 1970s/early 1980’s, when I was growing up, there was not much cool music aimed at kids. Only recently has there been an explosion of music that parents could listen to, and enjoy, with their children. Sure there were recordings for children, but they were limited and mostly folk-music (not every family loves folk music). But I didn’t know about this lack, because I had my own rock band.My parents tell a story about when I was 18 months old and we were visiting Florida. We went to the Dade County Fair because their friends, Rosenshontz, were playing there. We saw the concert and then went back to the trailer. The little tiny, itty bitty trailer. But it had air conditioning! That was 1977.When I was a kid growing up these two guys came to my school, first my Montessori pre-school/kindergarten and later at my elementary school. They played cool music, kid rock, with songs we could sing and dance to. We laughed and danced and rolled on the floor. And we Hugga Hugga Hugged. We went to Teddy Bear’s Picnics with our stuffed bears.As I grew up and grew out of the music I was still blessed. Those men lived in my town and my parents knew them pretty well. Gary Rosen lived next to the store my parents owned while I was growing up. We sold their records in the store. It was just one of the ways Brattleboro is the center of the universe. Sadly, they had a falling out over 10 years ago and the music came to an end. They continued to live in the same town, but everyone who knew them knew it was an angry break up. Each went his own way and made his own music, but to kids like me, it was never the same.Happily, as an adult, I have also been able to watch the Rosen children, Lela, Penn, and Eliza, grow up into talented terrific kids. I’ve worked with Penn in Shakespeare in the Park. He was an annoying 14 year old, but he did what I asked. My husband and I have seen them all in the high school musicals over the last 7 years. Lord S had the pleasure of starring in the musical Children of Eden with Penn in 2006. Penn played Adam and Noah, son of my husband’s God. Lela had leads in her later musicals and Eliza is showing her talents as each year progresses. [Penn is on the left in the blue shirt; Lela is on the right looking at her dad, Eliza is next to her.]Just a few years ago I heard some hard news. Gary was diagnosed with ALS. My friend Bonnie, whose family is very close to the Rosens, told me about it. Over the summer he began to feel weak and shakey. In the fall it was hard to walk. By December he needed help doing many things. But he swore he would walk at Lela’s graduation that June. Sadly, by February, he needed a wheelchair to make it to see his children, all of them, in the high school musical. He relied more and more on that chair. Over the last few years his friends have rallied.Just that spring, Bonnie organized a fundraising concert featuring musical acts from our community. (I will always be sad I had to miss it for another production.) The most wonderful moment, save for the finale, was when Bill Shontz, Gary’s former partner, took the stage. Even though they had such a difficult past Bill knew their history was more important.The concert was sold out and broadcast frequently on our local television station.Bonnie and others organized a group of 20 friends who went every day to Gary’s house. They read with him, talked with him, helped him. They were there to relieve Mary and the children. There were nurses as well, but his friends were there for everything else. He even put together one last album. With songs he had previously recorded and tracks laid down by his children, Gary celebrated his favorite author A.A. Milne. Money was raised for a super wheelchair to help him get around in the world. He made it the last two years to the musical. This year he got to see Penn as Joseph (and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat) and Eliza as a choir leader organzing and leading dozens of school children in the chorus.This past summer there was one final Teddy Bears’ Picnic with Gary Rosen. They were the opening concert at our community Summer Arts in the Park series. The children performed accompanied by local musician, Dan DeWalt.Penn will graduate this year. He is currently choosing from the schools that accepted him and looking forward to the end of the year. Lela is in her 2nd year of college and Eliza is a freshman in high school. As hard as the last 3 years have been Gary and Mary and their friends have made sure those kids had as normal a life as they could.Gary died this past weekend. It was kept out of the media until today. My mom told me yesterday. His family was prayed for at my church on Sunday and my sought out friends who would know what happened. I am glad his suffering has ended – isn’t that what you are supposed to say? But it hurts in my heart to know he is gone.obituary2005 Boston Globe article

I’ve got a friend. She’s different than me.Says her seeing eye dog does the seeing she needs.I say “Don’t you miss the sun going down?”She says, “No! Not when I’ve got friends all around.Don’t go feeling sorry for meI may be blind but I can see that(Chorus)I, I’m gonna be the best that I canYes I am, yes I am. Yes.I, I’m gonna be the best that I canYes I am, yes I am.I’ve got a friend, moves slower than meHis paralyzed legs won’t let him run free.I say, “Don’t you miss running around?”He says, “No! It’s never gonna slow me down.Don’t go feeling sorry for me.I cannot run, but I can see that(Chorus)I’ve got a friend who’s special to knowHis mind’s not too quick and his speech is slowI say, “Don’t you feel sad when kids put you down?’He says, “No! Not when I’ve got love all around.Don’t go feeling sorry for me.I may be slow but I can see that(Chorus)We’ve got a dad who’s special to knowAlthough he’s been sick, he’s still doing his showWe say, don’t you feel sad that you’ve got to slow down?(Rosen) Oh no, not when I’ve got love all aroundDon’t go feeling sorry for meI may be sick, but I can seeI’m gonna be the best that I canYes I am, yes I am